All In Due Time

Before the visit to the Meditation Center of Chicago, I was lost, lonely and rambling on about the same cycle of life. Wake up, eat, work, walk to the beach, come home, eat, sleep and repeat the next day. While there was nothing wrong with doing such simple things and having a simple routine life, I felt something was missing. Nothing gave a sense of fulfillment. I was happy, maybe in my own ways during those days after coming after the cocoon of COVID lockdown. During those tough times one of the easiest ways to let out my anxiety and unfulfillment was mindless social media consumption. I had a fair circle of acquaintances where I was trying to fit in and trying to find my worth. I might have seen the glass half empty.

One good thing Instagram did for me was to show the advertisement of M.C.C. and I asked myself why not? It was a free retreat in the month of February 2024. Hungover I arrived at the main door at 8:45am on a fine Sunday morning. I did not know then how much my life was going to change in a positive way. My spiritual teacher monk and the cheerful staffs/friends have been willing and helpful since day 1. I knew I had arrived at the right door since that first step in.

My journey has been enjoyable and fulfilling. The teachings of the respected monk have been a great assistance in knowing myself in this journey called LIFE. Growing up in Nepal, meditation was not foreign to me. I had tried the practice of meditation while growing up and it was much easier than it is now. Things were simple and easier when younger. Now amongst the ocean of thoughts it is hard to be focused. But that is the fun of meditation. The true meaning of staying still has been challenging and rewarding at the same time.

Inner peace for me, like for everyone, plays a vital role in my life. Firsthand experience, I know how one person can destroy your inner peace and also another person can give you the best peace of mind. The latter one, for me, existed in a whole different part of the city of Chicago. I would not have met her if I had never made myself ready to receive the gift of the Universe and have a positive attitude towards the actions that happened in my life. “Amor Fati”, the acceptance of fate no matter what it is, was my mantra. The person who never believed in love at first sight, was attracted by the energy of this calm and mysterious woman meditating in the same room with me and other attendees. I had never felt this unknown ‘feel good’ energy to be attracted to a complete stranger. But as soon as we shook hands, I knew I had known her for a lifetime. The power of positive energy and being of acceptance had played its parts. Maybe I was manifesting this all my days of solitude and knocking every wrong door in life. Meeting the right person was the ultimate answer to my questions about the universe and God’s plans.

She has been a rock in my life, more like a healer. She has seen me cry, break down, freak out, get angry (often), and lose my sense of purpose and hope. Yet she never faltered. She just existed in my life accepting who I was and am. She never quit on me. While I was getting guidance from my spiritual teacher, she played the role of a true friend that I never had. I can share anything and everything with her. As a true partner, she is willing to share everything with me, good and bad. Ask and it shall be answered, knock and it shall be opened. Truly a blessing for me and my voyage of self-development.

Now we share a healthy lifestyle. We make sure we spend time together as soon as we wake up and before we go to sleep. Eating happily and healthily has been a daily habit. We spend time in nature. Taking a walk in the woods or the lake is our favorite way to get connected in everyday busy life. We meditate in our own ways, sometimes coming to the M.C.C. is also our favorite way to get connected and reminiscing our months of togetherness. While we act as one, we do not look over the fact that we must always keep on working on ourselves.

As mortal human beings, we both have faults and dark sides. But we are open about discussing those sides with each other and shine the light of knowledge on them. We help each other to get better in our own ways. Companionship with compassion and understanding is our number one factor. For me mindfulness now has not been filling my mind with unnecessary and negative thoughts. She has taught me how to look at a bigger picture whilst living in the present.

Everyone deserves to be happy and accepted by someone, be that a person or a divine power.  I know there is someone for everyone. It might not happen when we want it to happen, for them to appear in a certain timely fashion but if we have faith and belief in nature or universe, the positive faith we will meet that person or the purpose which will give us more fulfillment. Had I been rambling on in my own little world and never stuck my head out when the opportunity came, I would have never become a butterfly from that cocoon.

Author: Bividh Bividh, a Nepali native, moved to Chicago at the age of 20 to pursue his education. Over the past 16 years, he has embraced life in the U.S., growing both personally and spiritually. His journey has been one of resilience and transformation, navigating the challenges of adapting to a new culture while discovering his true self.